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I _ _ _ _ MY MOM...I hate my mom for being stupidingly softhearted
I hate her blindness
I hate how she sees the "good" in people who are just evil
I hate how she forgives even if betrayed again
Only to forgive yet again
I hate how she sacrifices for someone not worth it
I hate that she cares so much
I hate how she worries about someone
who is not even worried about her in the slightness
I hate how she continues to support someone
who failed her a thousand times
I hate her warmth
and her brightness annoyingly blinds me
I hate that she is that kind of a mother.
I hate her really hate her really really hate her!
But most of all I hate myself for being hateful
For being cold hearted,
For being stubborn,
For being selfish, and self-centered
And for loving her despite of that
I **** MY MOM
me, myself, and iRENeI miss me
The lost me..
The old me
The simple me
The shallow me..
The innocent me..
The child in me..
Where are you?
Where am I?
Can you find me?
Or shall I find you?
Will I ever?
A world where I scream
The infinite words of silence
Where no one hears
Yet they understand
Where people walk
Upon their eyes fall behind
Speak this world where
Only I know
I can't comprehend
This meaning of this
An everlasting mistake
As my days become my nights
My nights become days
I realized time sleeping
In the depths of nothingness
What do I do?
What do I have to do?
To make things
Things on my mind
Be like those of numbered alphabets
Leave behind the baggage
I didn't even know what's inside
Or go on and move forward
For things that may come but hide
Seek what is time?
Or seek what is in front of me?
Find me for I am lost in the darkness
Blinded by light
Eyes on me
Stare and love me
Why don't you see?
In my eyes I want to be
I like you
But do you?
Twisted in the arms of somebody
The Devil on Your Shoulder
Wrapped like a gift in sheets, playing the role
of cold turkey while sweat shakes down the flesh.
Frozen in time, forced to see life flash before
the gaping eyes as though a Pale Horse had
come alone in jest and spite.
The rapid blinks that pan the camera angles for
unsettling cinematography make for a trip to an
avant-garde Hades for the audience of one.
Those damned subliminal messages hidden
in merciless metaphors.
Demons behind the curtains, sending in paper
airplanes with scribbled teasing and temptation,
awaiting their gift to open itself and become
a savory meal that would only blend with
the memories of what once was.
A husk once called man will sit, quivering alone
in the room of his own induced Hell, while those
demons cackle and drool from every angle as the
hallucinatory short films escalate into
the award-winning nightmares.
They call for him to come out and play,
with voices like friends and tones like killers.
Strength wraps the blanket tighter, absorbing
the sweat of th
Into the DarkFalling, flying, drifting
Into the dark we go
Following you though you're broken
Into the dark we go
Just One More Time
Those chains, how their cheers can resonate
in wake and dream alike. My shoulders are
strained in time without a proper word.
How bound I am from the starting line of my
own naivety to my lack of bliss in
the lack of ignorance?
I am no longer blind, but climbing my
Jacob's ladder upwards from shame
where chains pull me back
In that foolish past, I was never aware
of these bloody chains that before me countless
others have worn in varied forms and guidance.
Stable ground that welcomes my feet is
above my head, just out of reach as the
seconds take my few grains of sand.
Those chains labor me, like massive serpents
of unholy iron that constrict with
all my struggling.
Take my heart and hands, for alone
I will only fall with the inevitable
results of time and temptation.
snowtwo a.m. bitter winter wind.
lick the bag. acrid taste.
cold crawls in through windows cracked.
it's snowing in the attic.
angel hair on porcelain, point oh-one.
frost blankets my nostrils,
my brain sharp as first step's breath.
ravenous, dip fingers in nourishment.
place on tongue: cleaning agent pixie stick.
it eminates. bright-light vigor emulates
childlike mindset, so wonderfully overwhelmed
yet standing still, rock-steady at the helm.
second time. stand in line
for the second line, a second taste.
dismissive sniff, as in a tiff.
point oh-two; can't feel my face.
icicles melt, drip burning down my throat.
slick grotto-hands tap feverishly.
butane blisters nasal caverns.
i grin from the thrill of its bite.
alert, i bathe in every second of it.
much more for sentiment than any practicality-
would rather see beauty than this sorry reality-
would rather build castles than stay on the ground,
cause it's snowing now up in the clouds.
an ode to our unpretty corpseswhen things can't coexist
sometimes the world just qualifies them on its own
with enough pure madness to drown
out the deafening silence
it is the most tenable ones left distilled
flensed and laid ritual
at the feet of Saint Cecelia
for sainted vultures to circle
and pass over in turn
a la carte [we are]
the abnormalities of this world
variegated and willing
to leave with only our grudges in tact
when cold tentacles of truth have rendered
unleavened post hoc into zinc-
and we have discovered
the subterfuge to be a more heuristic option
- more accommodating, and much more ...
( made fresh to order )
dulleda blunt-edged sword
will never get a sheath.
it's not even a sword,
it can't cut anything.
it can't hurt you,
unless you sharpen it,
but some you just can't,
some are just defective...
still, could serve
as a metal walking stick,
but the crude form
might be embarrassing...
though in need
it can be game,
if you get bored
just throw it away...
i'll fall and fall,
tormenting my soul.
only and only for you.
the rusty blade crying his love for the black moon.
I am HERE...yet to be FOUNDI AM HERE, yet to be FOUND
I feel lost; I don't know what to do.
I don't know what I am doing.
Or if there's anything worth doing
I'm here in the end yet I am just beginning
I want something more
I know I'm meant for something greater.
Yet it seems that my hands won't reach it.
And every time I think about it
I feel a hole in my gut,
that's telling me there's more to life
than just being THIS an irrelevant stone
waiting, just waiting to be found
waiting to be polish
hoping, just hoping that I would come out
as a precious as I was born to be
or even more precious than a diamond
Is this enough?
Is this ALL OF IT?
I feel like I'm gasping sand in my hands
It is slowly slipping away
The more I hold on to it, the faster it slips.
But the lesser hold, the greater probability,
that the wind blows all of it
What do I do?
I lied when I said "Let it go."
Because I know I can't
Because I know I won't
But time can tell
I secretly hoped I would be not just so
The Parlour IncidentOne day in July, I believe it was, I found myself sitting with several acquaintances in Christopher's parlour. It was one of those deliciously lazy afternoons which only the summer in her full glory can bring. The room had a wan, listless light to it, relaxing the other guests and myself as we languidly chatted over tea and crumpets. The air was also sluggishly heavy, dulling the senses to a slowly-blended calm engendered by the heat of St. Othniel's southerly climate.
At length, after much stimulating conversation, Christopher stood, producing a book of sheet music.
"What do you all say to a bit of music?" he asked.
"Certainly," I answered.
"Oh yes, please do darling!" Tabitha exclaimed, "he's quite the maestro."
Christopher laughed, shaking his head.
"Now, now love, I'd not go that far."
He strode over to the piano as the other guests urged him on. Ida entered the room bearing a merrily steaming teapot and more crumpets.
"More tea sirs?" she inquired, shooting sideways glances at her
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More